venting

 

You know sometimes I am just so DONE with the whole parenting and educating thing!  I wish it was over and that they had moved on with their own lives.  This mood usually hits when the kids are challenging me and being difficult, when I am in a bad mood or I am not feeling well due to lack of sleep or headache.  Well yesterday was one of those days.  All of those aspects I mentioned happened all at one time yesterday.  But we survived it and today is a new day.  Here is hoping it all goes well.  :o)

Yesterday was day 2 of being “back to school”.  Jordan wanted a list of things to do, he has one, and then he fights me on what I have given him.  I tried to choose things that were pertinent to his life and applicable now, but he doesn’t seem to think so.  Grrrr!  So we have cancelled out one of the math assignments and he is trying to just get by in the other one.  Today he is complaining about the science book I picked.  So I pulled out two other choices and had him look over them and he chose a new one. 

All this struggle with my kids is making me go back and think about my own teen years and try to see how I handled things, what things I had to do, and how I survived my own teen years.  I am constantly trying to figure out my kids futures (which I did not do for my own future when I was a teen) and I wonder if all parents spend this much time agonizing over their kids futures, preparing them for their life, feeling like you are failing them and so on.  Or maybe that is just me.  Is this stage of parenting suppose to be this hard?  Is it hard because of the way we have chosen to parent our kids and how we are educating them?  We are not following the usual prescribed path, so I feel alone in what we are doing.  So many questions and worries rolling around in my brain.  Sigh.

Yesterday was not all bad.  Deanna went to the thrift store to volunteer for a few hours.  Jordan went and spent time with his Papa.  I did some errands and got my hair cut (yay! it was way overdue).  My severe headache subsided by evening.  Wes and I enjoyed a glass of wine before bed and discussed the kids and my worries. 

Today has been going okay.  Jordan has been plugging away at his assignments.  (He just wants to get them out of the way and will not do anything else until they are done.  He won’t even take time to eat.  What is up with him?).  Deanna has spent the morning working with her animals (Ripple got moved outside again today, hopefully he doesn’t escape again) and checking her email and such.  Now that she has had lunch she is starting on getting some of her assignments done.

Gotta go.  Jordan needs me to read his dictation sentences to him for spelling. 

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