change is in the air…

 

So this morning my kids were pretty annoyed with me.  What a great way to start a Monday.  They were upset because I had  a list on the table waiting for them when they got up.  They came to the table and started reading it, not saying anything to me.  By their expressions I could tell they were not happy with my list.  But I said nothing.  I decided to allow the list to sink in for a while they had breakfast. 

This is the list that they met at the table today:

Up daily at 8:00am, unless told otherwise. (IF I have to get you out of bed, you will be required to go to bed at 9pm, lights off with no music or electronics (ie... ipods) in your room and miss out on any forms of entertainment for the evening.)

Be productive from 8am until after supper and evening chores are completed.

(No gaming, YouTube watching, or other forms of being entertained).

• meals

• animal care

• personal hygiene (shower, teeth, hair, trimming nails, shaving, etc)

• LEARNING SCHEDULE

  • 2 hours assigned reading

  • 2 hours writing (spelling, vocabulary, communication books, miscellaneous)

  • 1 hour math (assigned books, flash cards, math projects, etc)

• employment (ask dad if he needs you for any ranch work OR ask dad if there are any ranch related tasks you can do to earn some spending cash.)

• volunteer

• exercise (go for a walk, ride your bike, your ideas)

• house work

• meal preparation

• pleasure reading

• letters to friends and family

• projects / hobbies

• do at least one thing (more is better) to benefit someone else each day

• see a need, fill a need

Leisure time will be after supper and evening chores are completed, and only if there are no other family plans (check in with mom and dad).

“Do what you have to so you can do what you want to.” from the movie The Great Debaters

 

After breakfast they still hadn’t said anything but Deanna had a perma-scowl on her face.  So I closed my laptop and asked them if they had any thoughts about what they had read.  More silence from them.  Then finally Jordan spoke up and asked why the change?  I then poured out my heart and my thoughts and my frustrations that have been building for quite some time now.   I shared that our trial run of having an assignment list to complete did not work for our family because things are constantly popping up that take over our days.  And they got very stressed by schedule changes and not being able to complete the list.  I shared how I see that I am doing them a disservice by allowing them a life of leisure and how that is not typical in North America.  Leisure is a small part of the day, not all day or whenever you want it.

I explained I was frustrated and exhausted by always having to be on their case, pushing them into what they should be doing.  I want them to be competent young adults, and with having me pushing them all the time, this would not develop them into competent adults only dependent ones.  They need to be aware and on the look out for what needs to be done, doing it of their own accord, not waiting to be told to do things. 

A few times I was almost in tears because I am so exhausted by having to push.  And when I do push, I get eyes rolling, or the victim attitude, or whatever.  I am so done with it all. 

I think the kids heard and saw my hurt.  Maybe they could see that I am a person too, and that I don’t harp on them for my pleasure.   That they are contributors to this home, this family and to their own life.  At least I hope they did.

The rest of the day went pretty good.  They stayed busy.  We had more discussions about how to proceed with our new ideas/routine.  They started new files with their ON YOUR OWN computer simulation.  They took care of their animals.  They did things I asked them to do without complaining (mostly… there was a slight relapse by Deanna after supper).  Change is hard for anyone.  And I am hoping we can make changes that benefit our family, us as individuals, and our community. 

I asked the kids if they managed to do one thing today that benefited someone else.  Both of them had.  YAY!

After supper we worked together doing some evening chores.  Then they showered and now are enjoying some leisure time.  SO what started out as a bad day has ended on a good note.  Yay. 

I am off to watch Lie to Me and 19 Kids and Counting.   Goodnight.