Giggle, Giggle!

Good advice!

"Be grateful. There is an Irish saying: "This is a day in our lives, and it will not come again." Live every day with this in mind."                         ~ James K. Flanagan (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ann-brenoff/grandfathers-last-letter-advice-jim-flanagan_b_1909622.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false)

This sort of thing is why a "plain reading" of scripture is unfaithful to the text.

Five Bible Images You Probably Misunderstand -- http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-joel-hoffman/bible-images-metaphors_b_1616924.html

This topic has been on my heart and mind a lot lately…

A LETTER ON BEHALF OF CHILDREN FROM BROKEN FAMILIES

I come from a very broken family. And it has been in these adult years that I have come to fully realize how this has affected my life and how it does affect others as well. I am almost 40 years old and come from a long line of brokenness. My great grandparents were married their whole life and brought 4 children into the world. From those 4 children, only one of them had a solid marriage of one partner for their lifespan. The line I come from is particularly shattered and fragmented. My grandfather married my grandmother and they had 5 children together. Then they spilt. Next my grandfather brought another child into the world with a woman he was not married too. After that he married another woman and with her brought one more child into the world and they also adopted one. During this time my grandmother also brought two more children into the world (both have different fathers). She married again in my teen years but that marriage also ended in divorce. So I have 9 aunts and uncles and some of them are not even related to each other.

Now to move down the family tree, my mother had two children. My brother and I both have different fathers. And out of my aunts and uncles, none of them were successful in having a lasting marriage. And now to my generation of the family tree, some of us are doing our best to break this family “curse”. Myself, I have been married for 20 years (this coming July). My husband and I both come from broken families and early on in our relationship we declared that all of this chaos and brokenness stopped with us. I have a cousin who has also made this declaration in her own marriage. But our generation is all ready littered with chaos and brokenness as well.

So with that brief family history, I want to show how decisions we make as individuals have a ripple affect of people and relationships around us. Quite often when we do things and make choices we are only thinking about what is good for “me”. We don't take the time to consider how our so called personal decision might be affecting the people that we know and love. A husbands choice to pursue another woman is only thinking about how to alleviate the emptiness in his own life not about how this will affect the people around him.

Here are some of the situations that I have witnessed that now make difficult for those of us outside of the decisions that cause chaos and brokenness in relationships and family.

• Holidays – how does the child or even the adult child ever have a peaceful and cohesive holiday ever again? They will never experience family togetherness for celebrations. “Do I invite mom or dad to this dinner? I guess I will have to do two birthday celebrations for my kid so that both mom and dad can be with them for their special day. How do I handle seating arrangements at the wedding reception, the toasts, and all the family moments that are suppose to be part of the special day?” And so on and so forth. Every family moment is effected by a person's choice to cause that brokenness.

• “Are you my mommy?” --I have seen a situation where a little girl that every time she came up to see her dad, he was living in a new place and with a new girl. She had so many “mommies” and “brothers/sisters” because of this happening.

• I remember two little boys many years ago, and it broke my heart that they didn't have a “home”. It was always, I am going to ____________ (dad's house, mom's house, grandma's house). You never ever heard them say, “I am going home.”

• Kids are under pressure to not step on mom or dad's toes all the time. What I mean by this, the child cannot share their life experiences in a free way in a broken family. When they have a great time with dad, they can't really tell mom because it makes her upset. They feel like they constantly have to pick sides or hide part of themselves to appease the parent they are currently spending time with. They don't want to hurt mom or dad's feelings.

• The “revolving aunt/uncle/grandma/grandpa”. For example when grandkids go visit their grandma and they don't know if “Grandpa Joe” will be there this time or not or will it be a new grandpa figure that grandma has picked out.

• Along with this idea above about the revolving mate, even for adults this can be hard. You start to wonder whether you should get close to this new person, open yourself up to them because they may or may not be part of future gatherings.

So that is a very small sampling of the effects of brokenness in family situations. We always think the decision we are making only affects us but in reality there is a large ripple affect on all the people around you to varying degrees.

Now as I was growing up, I did not know anything else. I loved my family and had strong family pride. All this fragmentation did not bother me because I did not know anything else. But now I am deeply saddened and troubled by the family situation I have inherited and it eats away at me with every family type situation that should bring happiness or comfort or joy or security. What I am left with is uncertainty, emptiness, chaos and a trail of relationship carcasses and haunting situations of people who were part of my life once upon a time but I am no longer able to be a part of.

And what completely crushes me is that we are living in a culture where all this brokenness is the norm. How do these children we are raising learn how to manage relationships in their lives when all they have been exposed to brokenness? I remember a few years ago my brother telling me that my marriage was only marriage that he knew of that was good and strong. That my husband and I were the only example of how a relationship should be like. Are there so few of us around anymore? It grieves me to think that.

So on behalf of all the children who have had to experience a broken family life, I ask you to always look beyond yourself when making your life choices. Each and every choice does have a ripple effect on those around you. No choice will ever affect just you. Choose what is good for the whole, not just you. We children pay for the choices our parents make. Please give us something good to pass on to future generations on behalf of you.

Thank you.

30 day minimizing and simplifying challenge

Your 30 Day Challenge Starts Now!

We have our 30 day minimizing and simplifying challenge for you to take on. Are you ready?

Our goal is not just to help you lose the clutter, but to mostly create lifestyle changes that will last. Consider this a 30 day transformation to get you ongoing results months and years down the road. Best of all…. it’s free!

http://minimalismissimple.com/30-day-challenge

must remember to go back and read this…

Does Scripture say Hell is Eternal Punishment?  -- http://jonjourney.blogspot.ca/2009/10/does-scripture-say-hell-is-eternal.html

All the talk about God's love and mercy and salvation is ruined when it's filtered through religion because it still leaves people to believe they have to earn it.

seen on Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/TheFreeBelieversNetwork?ref=stream

The Free Believers Network

about an hour ago

All the talk about God's love and mercy and salvation is ruined when it's filtered through religion because it still leaves people to believe they have to earn it. You could liken it to a man who is feeding the poor. He does so out of the kindness of his heart, but the rumor is spread among the recipients that if they are not grateful, exceedingly grateful... outlandishly grateful... if they don't devote their lives to thanking and praising this kind man that he will stop feeding them, and worse yet turn his kindness into hatred and do harm to the very ones he was feeding. This kind man has been accused of narcissism. Symptoms of a narcissistic personality disorder can include the following:
1) Reacts to criticism with rage, shame or humiliation
2) Takes advantage of people to achieve his or her own goals
3) Requires constant attention and admiration
4) Has obsessive self-interest
5) Pursues mainly selfish goals
These characteristics are often attributed to God. As if God is feeding the poor not for the sake of the poor, but for the sake of his own good reputation. As if God's only interest in being kind is so that he might be praised, not because he is just kind. This narcissistic God is perfected in the belief that anyone who neglects or refuses to offer him worship will suffer the consequences of his rage.
It seems to me that when you devote your life to a religion in order to please and appease a God who has expectations of you that benefit him you have accepted the view that God is narcissistic. Perhaps religion itself is based in that view, that God is in it only for himself.

Gandhi

"You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result." - Gandhi

If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

In the January 2013 issue of O Magazine, the question was asked – “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?”

I know little boys like to pretend play about superpowers and they always want the most powerful power so they can beat everyone else.  So this question was interesting in being asked to women.  What would their answers be?  I really loved Brandi-Ann Uyemura’s answer:

“The gift of responding to any situation with complete compassion.  It’s human to respond to criticism by defending yourself.  But give the power to empathize with an insensitive driver, a disrespectful cashier, or a critical relative, and I’d instantly know what to say to de-escalate the situation and leave it with grace.”

Isn’t that a great answer? 

to live in unity…

Love this post! -- Replay: Jesus is the Reason… to live in unity -- http://www.alanknox.net/2012/12/replay-jesus-is-the-reason-to-live-in-unity/

This paragraph especially:

“Live today for the glory of God. Love him and love those around you. Serve the people that God brings across your path. Serve them before they can serve you. Accept those who are different. Be patient with those who are less mature. Follow those who are more mature. Walk in Spirit. When you come together with your brothers and sisters in Christ, seek to build them up, to stir up love and good works within them, and to mature them in Christ Jesus.”  ~Alan Knox

Les Misérables

Les Misérables: A Film That Reveals What True Faith Looks Like  --  http://johnharmstrong.com/?p=3710

getting rid of your anger…

This line from the blog post I read today really resonated with me…

“I think getting rid of your anger comes when you forgive your offender and start to see them with compassionate eyes.”

The whole post was a good read, go here to read it --- http://morelittlewilsons.com/archives/783037

How grace and forgiveness affects us….

“The same grace and forgiveness that invited Jean Valjean into the rich embrace of love and a transformed life drove Javert to self-destruction. Once grace puts you in its crosshairs you have some serious decisions to make.”  ~Wayne Jacobsen

the only way we can live…

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

Stuff I am reading today:

1.   “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. For the month of October I decided I was done. We took these boys in last February and their mom had until now to get on medication, to get her ducks in a row, and there are no ducks and I’m done with grace.  I’m done with it, because we had a deadline….” –>  http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/a-broken-hallelujah-post/

2.  12 Simple Principles for a Happy Life On (or Off) the Road  - http://www.raisingmiro.com/2012/11/20/12-simple-principles-for-a-happy-life-on-the-road/

3.  This Mom’s Top 20 List for Parenting, Unschooling, Life & Learning - http://www.raisingmiro.com/2012/09/14/this-parents-top-20-list-for-parenting-unschooling-life-learning/

4.  And now I am off to read the rest of this book that Stephanie recommended to me -- http://www.samekindofdifferentasme.com/

Breath of Heaven (Mary’s Song)

 

Songwriters: CHRIS EATON, AMY GRANT

I have traveled many moonless nights,
Cold and weary with a babe inside,
And I wonder what I've done.
Holy father you have come,
And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.
I am frightened by the load i bear.
In a world as cold as stone,
Must i walk this path alone?
Be with me now.
Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,
If a wiser one should have had my place,
But i offer all i am
For the mercy of your plan.
Help me be strong.
Help me be.
Help me.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.

Breath of heaven,
Hold me together,
Be forever near me,
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven,
Lighten my darkness,
Pour over me your holiness,
For you are holy.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.
Breath of heaven.

Love this… sooo true.

When you start to really know someone, most of their physical characteristics vanish in your mind. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize their scent, and appreciate their wit. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with physical beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, or want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body for a little while, but not your heart in the long-term. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, most physical imperfections become irrelevant. - via: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/08/06/12-rules-for-being-a-human-being/

Love

“Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.”

Corrie ten Boom, The Hiding Place

Open Tabs–December 12, 2012

1.  31 prayer cards for kids - http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.ca/2012/12/free-printable-31-prayer-cards-for-kids.html

2.  what is the kingdom of God? -- http://modernreject.com/2012/12/what-is-the-kingdom-of-god-part-1/

3.  treating warts with vitamin A -- http://susantaney.net/vm.vitaminA.html

4.  unschooling blog carnival -- http://unschoolingblogcarnival.blogspot.ca/2012/12/decembers-blog-favorites.html

5.  getting rid of it to travel -- http://www.ottsworld.com/blogs/downsizing-decluttering/

6.  what eating too much sugar does to your brain -- http://www.hungryforchange.tv/article/what-eating-too-much-sugar-does-to-your-brain

7.  Is Jesus the reason for the season? -- http://jonjourney.blogspot.ca/2012/12/is-jesus-reason-for-season.html

Time to implement this in our home again…

When Jordan was younger and being a brat I would have him do exercise as a consequence.  That could mean jumping jacks, push ups or laps around the house.  Now that I have an 8 year old in the house again, I think it will be time to use this method once more.  I was reminded about it via this blog post -- http://inspiredtoaction.com/2012/12/a-simple-and-effective-discipline-strategy-for-boys/

An insightful quote by A.W. Tozer –

 “We are in an age of religious complexity. The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found amoung us. In its stead are programs, methods, organizations, and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The reason this journey seems so difficult is because it is far easier than we dare to believe!  http://lifestream.org/blog/2012/12/05/living-high-on-the-narrow-road/

love

“…zero in on what interests your child and stay there as long as she is interested.” –Lori Pickert, Project-Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners

seen on Facebook:

“Project Based Homeschooling

“If I, an adult, am free to focus on what interests me without external judgment — without anyone telling me, “No, that’s frivolous, that’s a waste of time, go do something I’ve decided is meaningful,” then it seems obvious that my child have the same opportunity to pursue an interest without judgment.””

http://abh21.wordpress.com/2012/12/08/pbl-monster-project/

ABC’s of Me

A} Age:  39

B} Bed Size:  Queen

C} Chore you dislike:  cleaning the bathroom

D} Dogs:  We have 3 in the family but none are really mine.  We have the old girl – Jazmin (she is 14 years old), Deanna’s dog Licorice, and Jordan’s puppy Buddy.

E} Essential start to your day:  Coffee, quiet, and the internet.  It is my needed routine.  No talking to me until I have had 2 cups of coffee. 

F} Favorite Colors:  Purples

G} Gold or Silver: Silver

H} Height: Five eight!

I} Instruments you play (past/present):  I tried the ukulele and the recorder as a kid (in school).  I also tried to learn the guitar on my own and for one summer did piano lessons but I have never taken to any instrument.  I used to sing not bad but after surgery on my thyroid my voice changed and it hasn't’ sounded the same since.

J} Job Title:   Family Manager

K} Kids:   I have had three.  I miscarried my first baby in 1992.  Then I had Jordan in 95 and Deanna in 97.  I always dreamt I would have 6 kids but after great pregnancies and scary after birth experiences, we decided we would just stick with the two healthy kids we had and keep me around to raise them. 

L} Live:  In the rolling hills of rural Alberta. 

M} Mom’s name:  Teri

N} Nicknames:  Most of my nicknames come from my high school years --- Angel, Duckie, Sherlock… but the one that has stuck was given to me by my mom, she dubbed me Infojunkie because I love to look things up.  My favorite phrase is “google it”!

O} Overnight hospital stays:   A few… after surgeries and after both my kids births.

P} Pet Peeves:  People who are self-centered.  Kids who are picky eaters.  People who are forever late for things. 

Q} Quote from a Movie:   “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”  Dory

R} Righty or Lefty: I am dominantly right handed.

S} Siblings:  A brother who is 2 years younger than I.

T} Time you wake up:  Usually around 8am.

U} URL favorite these days:   I am addicted to Pinterest. 

V} Vegetables you don’t like:  Canned veggies. 

W} What makes you run late: I am never late, I am always early to appointments and events.

X} X-Rays:   Feet, Teeth… I can’t think of any other ones.

Y} Yesterday memory:   Deanna feeling so sad at the end of a movie.

Z} Zoo Animal Favorite:  When I was younger I loved watching the polar bears at the Calgary Zoo.  Now that they are gone I enjoy watching the seals.

Inspired by http://thedomesticrebel.com/2012/09/22/caramel-marshmallow-butterscotch-bars/

Third Day - I Need A Miracle

Maybe I will read this…

The King Will Make a Way: a story for the last days saint (http://www.amazon.com/King-Will-Make-Way-story/dp/1456339311/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354810584&sr=1-1&keywords=the+king+will+make+a+way+giles)

How Essential Oils Are Helping My Chronic Pain

http://www.accidentallygreen.com/how-essential-oils-are-helping-my-chronic-pain/

Even the disciples, who lived with Jesus, were constantly getting it wrong.

Loved the story told part way through this post.  It starts with the line… “Even the disciples, who lived with Jesus, were constantly getting it wrong.” Read the whole post here – http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2012/12/how-christians-get-arrogant/#.UL-rBgj3bzI.facebook.

Deanna recommended…

This documentary that she watched on Netflix last night…

Born to Wild -- https://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/Born_to_Be_Wild_IMAX/70167069?trkid=438403

Filmed in IMAX 3D, this documentary captures the unique and intimate connections that developed between two scientists and two species -- orangutans and elephants -- as the men worked to save the orphaned beasts and return them to the wild.

Review:  http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/born_to_be_wild_2011/

A great article about being torn about Christmas, this lady has been on quite a journey…

TORN ABOUT CHRISTMAS -- http://heartofwisdom.com/blog/torn-over-christmas/

I am also torn about Christmas and I struggle with it every time the season comes around again.  One of these times I may feel peace about it, I sure hope I do, I hate the angst and the feeling of being a fish of water every year. 

I was recently told of an African tribe that does the most beautiful thing.

 
When someone does something hurtful and wrong, they take the person to the center of town, and the entire tribe comes and surrounds him. For two days they’ll tell the man every good thing he has ever done.
The tribe believes that every human being comes into the world as GOOD, each of us desiring safety, love, peace, happiness.

But sometimes in the pursuit of those things people make mistakes. The community sees misdeeds as a cry for help.

They band together for the sake of their fellow man to hold him up, to reconnect him with his true Nature, to remind him who he really is, until he fully remembers the truth from which he'd temporarily been disconnected: "I AM GOOD".

Why I Hate School But Love Education||Spoken Word

a Sunday gathering of the saints…

Our community gathered at our house today for fellowship.  A couple of people couldn’t make it because they weren’t feeling well.  I came up with an idea earlier in the week to help spark some conversations amongst the group.  I did a Google search for questions that have been asked about Christianity, God, Jesus. etc.  I wrote individual questions on pieces of paper and folded them up and placed them in a bowl.  Then when we were ready for some discussion time, one at a time a person would pull out a question and read it aloud to the group and then the conversation got started.  Some of the questions today included:

• Are you afraid of God?  Or can you open up to him and trust him?
• How does God reveal himself to people like us?
• What are some misconceptions of Christians/Christianity?
• Was Jesus a rebel?
• Was Jesus perfect?
• What does it mean to be a living sacrifice?
• Why does God hate sin?
• What is sin?
• What does it mean that a Christian is a new creation? (2Corinthians 5:17)

I found that this new idea seemed to serve its purpose.  We may do it again sometime.  We didn’t get through all the questions I collected and as I find interesting questions in my internet travels, I will add them to the pile.

In the evening we went to our town’s community carol sing.  It is a gathering of all the churches in the town to celebrate the Christmas season together.  Wes and Deanna were scheduled to sing with the community choir.  In years past this event has hit a soft spot for me and I have had an emotional response to the message.  But this year that didn’t happen (I am a bit of a Christmas season scrooge, it is not my favorite time of year).  But there was a young man who did the Old Testament reading for the service that really struck me.  He seemed to me to be a new Christian.  In my words he was a shiny new Christian. :)  I felt compelled that I should go up to him after the service and greet and encourage him, welcome him to the family.  But I am people shy and an introvert, so going up to random new people is not my thing.  And sadly I did not meet up with him and I now find myself regretting that, like I missed out on an opportunity that maybe God was trying to orchestrate. 

From Dave Black’s blog:

Quote of the day (Ron Scates):

Did you know that Christ hates religion? Religion is orthodoxy gone dry and stale. Religion is worship turned into entertainment. Religion is being busy but going through the motions. Religion is when you believe all the right stuff on the surface, but you’re really leading a double life. You’ve got your life at church and then you’ve got your other life over here. Religion is when the church turns from being a missionary society into the spiritual annex of the country club. Religion is when your zeal for making disciples devolves into making yourself comfortable. Jesus hates, despises, religion. When you and I lose our first love, that’s what we’re left with.

Religion spells salvation D-O. Christianity spells salvation D-O-N-E.

http://www.daveblackonline.com/blog.htm

A funny Christopher said tonight…

“When I am quiet for too long, I forget what my voice sounds like.” 

No wonder he talks so much!!!  LOL

What is your Almanac for Today? (Based on Susan's -http://www.susans-soliloquy.com/2012/11/almanac-4.html)

Outside my window... my yard is covered in snow and it is very cold.  I can feel the cold seeping into the house.  I wish we had more wood stock piled so we could have the fire going.

From the Kitchen...  I can smell the start of supper in the oven…. chicken with brown sugar bbq sauce.  I will add rice and a veggie later.

Around the House...  I have been pondering rearranging my living room to make more space but I really like its configuration right now because it allows for a conversation circle when we have a group here.  Wes convinced me to leave it the way it is. 

Reading... nothing right now but stuff I subscribe to on the internet.  I do have a new book coming though called Cross Roads.  It is by the same author who wrote The Shack. 

Wandering Around the Web...  you can see my previous post to day to see what all my open tabs were.   http://onanygivendayinpamelasmind.blogspot.ca/2012/11/this-and-that-my-open-tabs-today.html

Anticipating...  an evening of quiet and vegging in front of the tv.  My plate is so full lately that I use tv as a survival tactic. 

Pondering...  life and what is has thrown me this year.  How to manage it all and stay sane.

Grateful for...  my husband.  I don’t know what I do without him.

Praying...  for wisdom.

Picture Thoughts to Share...  this is my 17 year old son Jordan living in his new home with his new dog named Buddy.  It is so weird some days that he is living at his own place now.

act like a Christian :o)

http://deeperstory.com/act-like-a-christian-2/

This and that… (my open tabs today)

1.  Holy companionship - http://bohemianbowmans.com/intimate-friendship/

2.  Are we redefining the wrong word? - http://welcometothedeepend.com/category/education/unschooling/

3.  How beards and men and random acts of kindness can change the world - http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/11/how-beards-men-random-acts-of-kindness-can-change-the-world/

4.  The amazing transformation of a man who didn’t give up -

5.  hot buttons: tackling tough issues proactively with tweens and teens - http://nicoleodell.com/parent-side/hot-buttons-books/

6.  a caregiver’s guide to mild cognitive impairment - http://hcawoodlands.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/a-caregivers-guide-to-mild-cognitive-impairment/

7.  frequently asked bible questions - http://www.gotquestions.org/archive.html

8.  reading eggs promo codes - http://community.babycenter.com/post/a31454147/reading_eggs_promo_codes

9.  You can’t always send your grandchildren home, sometimes they live with you - http://www.empoweringparents.com/blog/adhd-add/you-cant-always-send-your-grandchildren-home-sometimes-they-live-with-you/

10.  Loved this unschooling portrait showcased this week -- http://www.christianunschooling.com/unschooling-portraits-carolyn/

zen habits shares–“What I’ve Learned About Learning”

http://zenhabits.net/learn/

What I’ve Learned About Learning

‘We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.’ ~Lloyd Alexander

Post written by Leo Babauta.

I am a teacher and an avid learner, and I’m passionate about both.

I’m a teacher because I help Eva homeschool our kids — OK, she does most of the work, but I do help, mostly with math but with everything else too. I also teach habits, writing/blogging, simplicity and other fun topics in online courses.

I’m a lifelong learner and am always obsessively studying something, whether that’s breadmaking or language or wine or chess or writing or fitness.

Here’s are two key lessons — both really the same lesson — I’ve learned about learning, in all my years of study and in trying to teach people:

1. Almost everything I’ve learned, I didn’t learn in school; and
2. Almost everything my students (and kids) have learned, they learned on their own.

Those two lessons (or one lesson) have a number of reasons and implications for learning. Let’s take a look at some of them, in hopes you might find them useful.

Why Learning is Independent

One of the foundations of Unschooling, which Eva and I and the kids do here at home, is that you’re not teaching subjects to your kids — in fact, you’re not really teaching them at all. They take responsibility for their learning, and do it because they’re interested in something, not because you tell them they should learn it.

This is exactly how I learn as an adult, and so I know it works.

When teachers (wonderful people that they were) tried to teach me something in school, I often became bored, and just did what I needed to do to do well on the test. Not because the subject or the teacher was boring, but because it wasn’t something I cared about. They wanted me to learn it because they thought I should, but that’s not why people learn something. They learn it because they care about it — because they find it incredibly interesting, or because they need it to do something they really want to do.

When teachers succeeded in getting me to learn, it was only because they made something seem so interesting that I started to care about it. But then I learned on my own, either in class while ignoring everyone else, or more likely after class in the library or at home.

That’s because someone walking you through the steps of learning something doesn’t work — you aren’t learning when you’re just listening to someone tell you how something works. You’re learning when you try to do that something — putting it into action. That’s when the real learning begins and the superficial learning ends — when you try something and fail, and adjust and try again, and solve countless little problems as you do so.

The best teachers know this, and so they inspire, and help you to put the learning into action.

As an adult, I’ve learned a lot on my own. The stuff I’ve just read, I’ve mostly forgotten. But the stuff I’ve put into action by playing with it, by practicing, by creating and sharing with others — that stuff has stuck with me. I truly learned it.

I learned about blogging when I started blogging, and kept doing it for five years — not by reading blogs about blogging. My students have learned habits and decluttering and meditation and blogging from me not because I told them something brilliants, but because the ones who really learned put it into action. They formed a simple habit, decluttered their homes, did 5 minutes of meditation for 30 days, blogged.

This is where the real learning happens — when the fingers start moving, the feet start dancing, not when you hear or read something.

How to Learn (or Teach)

The teacher’s job, really, is to fascinate the student. Fascination is the key to learning. Then help the student put the fascination into action.

It follows then, that if you’re teaching yourself, your job is exactly the same.

Here’s how to learn:

1. Get fascinated. As a teacher, you should fascinate the student by rediscovering with her all the things that originally fascinated you about the topic. If you can’t get fascinated, you won’t care enough to really learn something. You’ll just go through the motions. How do you get fascinated? Often doing something with or for other people helps to motivate me to look more deeply into something, and reading about other people who have been successful/legendary at it also fascinates me.
2. Pour yourself into it. I will read every website and book I can get my hands on. Google and the library are my first stops. They’re free. The used bookstore will be next. There are always an amazing amount of online resources to learn anything. If there isn’t, create one.
3. Do it, in small steps. Actually doing whatever you want to do will be scary. You can learn as much Spanish vocabulary as you like, but until you start having conversations, you won’t really know it. You can read as much about chess as you like, but you have to put the problems into action, and play games. You can read about how to program, but you won’t know it until you actually code. Start with small, non-scary steps, with as little risk as possible, focusing on fun, easy skills.
4. Play. Learning isn’t work. It’s fun. If you’re learning because you think you should, not because you’re having fun with it, you will not really stick with it for long, or you’ll hate it and not care about it. So make it play. Make games out of it. Sing and dance while you do it. Show off your new skills to people, with a smile on your face.
5. Do it with others. I believe most learning is done on your own, but doing it with others makes it fun. I like to work out with my friends and with Eva. I like to bake bread for my family. I like to play chess with my kids. That motivates me to learn, because I want to do well when I do it with others.
6. Feel free to move around. I will dive into something for a couple weeks, and then move on to something else. That’s OK. That’s how passion for a topic often works. Sometimes it will last for a long time, sometimes it’s a short intense burst. You can’t control it. Allow yourself to wander if that’s where things lead you.
7. But deep learning takes months or years. You can learn a lot about something in 2-4 weeks, but you really become an expert at something only after months and years of doing it. I knew a lot about blogging after 6 months, but I waited a couple years before I was comfortable teaching others about it. Even now, after 5+ years of blogging, I’m still learning. The same applies to habits — I’ve learned a lot after 7 years of successfully creating habits, and now can actually teach it with some confidence. So how do you allow yourself to wander, but stick with something for long enough to get deep learning? By wandering around within the topic. You can learn a lot about wine in a month, for example, but what if after that you focused on cabernet sauvignon for a month, then zinfandel, then pinot noir? What if then you decided to learn about Oregon pinot noirs, then Sonoma pinots, then (the wonderful) pinots from Burgundy? You’d be wandering around, but going deeper and deeper. You can also move away from a topic, then get fascinated with it again and come back to it.
8. Test yourself. You can learn a lot of information quickly by studying something, testing yourself, studying again to fill in the holes in your knowledge, testing again, and repeating until you have it by heart. That’s not always the most fun way to learn, but it can work well. Alternatively, you can learn by playing, and when you play, allow that to be your test.
9. Disagree. Don’t just agree that everything you’re reading or hearing from others on a topic is correct, even if they are foremost experts. First, experts are often wrong, and it’s not until they are challenged that new knowledge is found. Second, even if they are right and you are wrong by disagreeing, you learn by disagreeing. By disagreeing, you have already not only considered what you’ve been given, but formulated an alternative theory. Then you have to try to test to see which is right, and even if you find that the first information or theory was right and you were wrong, now you know that much better than if you just agreed. I’m not saying to disagree with everything, but the more you do, the better you’ll learn. Don’t disagree in a disagreeable way, and don’t hold onto your theories too tightly and be defensive about them.
10. Teach it. There is no better way to cement your knowledge than to teach it to others. It’s OK if you don’t really know it that well — as long as you’re honest about that when you’re teaching it to someone. For example, I’m a beginner at chess, but I will learn something about it and teach it to my kids — they know I’m not a tournament contender, let alone a master, and yet I’m still teaching them something they don’t know. And when I do, I begin to really understand it, because to teach you have to take what you’ve absorbed, reflect upon it, find a way to organize it so that you can communicate it to someone else clearly enough for them to understand it, see their mistakes and help correct them, see where the holes in your knowledge are, and more.
11. Learning can be subliminal. We think we’re in control of our minds and we’re like programmers telling our minds what to learn, how to learn, and what data to retain. No. Our minds work in mysterious ways, and cannot be tightly controlled. They wander, latch onto the weirdest things, and soak up more than we know. Later, you can come back to what you’ve absorbed, and test yourself, and find you knew something you didn’t realize you knew. The lesson is to expose yourself to as much as possible on a topic, and allow yourself to absorb it. Sometimes your mind will pick up patterns you didn’t consciously realize were there, but then can use those patterns later when you put the learning into action.
12. Reflect on your learning by blogging. You soak up a ton of information and patterns, and you can put that into action, but when you sit down and reflect on what you’ve learned, and try to share that with others (as I’m doing right now), you force yourself to think deeply, to synthesize the knowledge and to organize it, much as you do when you teach it to others. Blogging is a great tool for reflection and sharing what you’ve learned, even if you don’t hope to make a living at it. And it’s free.

‘The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.’ ~Albert Einstein

Posted: 05.03.2012

Cognitive function and Fibromyalgia

 

1.  http://www.fmaware.org/News20c8d.html?page=NewsArticle&id=5280

2.  http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread157839.html

3.  http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org/fibromyalgia_memory_loss.html

4.  http://www.livestrong.com/article/166607-mental-effects-of-fibromyalgia/

5.  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18537459

6.  http://www.healthboards.com/boards/fibromyalgia/919706-brain-fog-memory-problems.html

 

  I don’t know how to deal with this. 

 

-  http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=2501

-  http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=392

-  http://www.strengthforcaring.com/manual/stress-relief-communicating/managing-cognitive-impairment/

-  http://www2.wspa.com/news/problem-solver/2012/jun/25/family-seeks-help-after-loved-one-cognitive-impair-ar-4035865/

-  http://www.alz.org/dementia/mild-cognitive-impairment-mci.asp

-  http://hcawoodlands.wordpress.com/2011/03/29/a-caregivers-guide-to-mild-cognitive-impairment/

So true!

“Your world is severely broken. You demanded your independence, and now you are angry with the One who loved you enough to give it to you.”
― Wm. Paul Young, Cross Roads

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Do you read scripture like a Pharisee or like Jesus? -- http://theupsidedownworld.com/2012/10/30/do-you-read-scripture-like-a-pharisee-or-like-jesus/

The world's poorest president donates 90% of his salary to charity.

seen on Facebook:

Discover. Share. Inspire.

“Very fascinating... Can't wait to go to Uruguay.
Jose Mujica: The world's poorest president donates 90% of his salary to charity. How's this as a man of the people: The president of Uruguay, José Mujica, has earned a nickname, "el presidente mas pobre" (translation: "poorest president").
The 77-year-old recently admitted to the Spanish newspaper El Mundo that he donates almost all of his presidential salary, making him the poorest, or, as Univision pointed out, most generous president, in the world. El presidente explained he receives $12,500 a month but keeps only $1,250.
The public servant told the newspaper, "I do fine with that amount; I have to do fine because there are many Uruguayans who live with much less." He and his wife—a senator who also donates part of her salary—live in a farmhouse in Montevideo.
His biggest expense is his Volkswagen Beetle, valued at $1,945. Perhaps not surprisingly, under the former guerrilla fighter, who was elected in 2010 as a member of the left-wing coalition, the Broad Front, the country has become known for being one of the least corrupt on the continent.
Mujica has no bank accounts and no debt, and he enjoys one thing money can't buy: the companionship of his dog, Manuela. The Uruguayan is not the first president to donate his salary.
U.S. President John F. Kennedy, who came from wealth, donated his salary when in office, as did President Herbert Hoover. Hoover, who grew up poor, decided to never accept money for public service, so he could not be accused of corruption.”

I am from…

I really liked this blog entry about where she is from.  http://morelittlewilsons.com/archives/782915

Top 10 Christian Phrases I Never Want to Hear Again

Read them here:  http://modernreject.com/2011/03/christian-phrases/

I want to come back to this in the future and do my own journal entry about “Christian-isms” that annoy me. 

Despite what people may have told you or you may have believed, you CANNOT be anything you want.

“My generation grew up with the belief that we could accomplish great things, realize any dream, and actually be anything we want. Well, the former two might be true, but I would argue that the latter is actually a lie.”

the whole post can be read here -- http://modernreject.com/2012/11/you-cannot-be-anything-you-want/

The comment section has some great gems too.

Stories like this never grow old for me :o)

Given Tablets But No Teachers, Ethiopian Kids Teach Themselves  http://mashable.com/2012/10/29/tablets-ethiopian-children/

Ever wonder how in the world Amazima keeps track of 600 children, their families, and all of their needs?

Compassion Interview with Mentor Siraji   http://amazimaministries.blogspot.ca/2012/11/compassion-interview-with-mentor-siraji.html

A Daily Essay

I have always been drawn to the Thomas Jefferson way of learning but have never successfully been able to make it happen in our home. But I came across this post where a mom tweaked the formula that makes feel a little less pressure in doing it “right”.

“When I look at my own learning process I can see how I do this, albeit on a rather reduced volume. My formula looks more like this: Read + Discuss + Experiment + Write + Reflect = one iteration of learning. Repeat iterations as often as required.”
quoted from http://www.theparentvortex.com/wordpress/a-daily-essay/

Maybe one of these days I will be able to make this happen for me. I really feel the pull to get back into journaling and recording my thoughts. Maybe I can start again this winter.

So what has Deanna been up to???

I have been keeping track of what Christopher has been doing for school and such but haven’t had the chance to share what Deanna has been doing.  So I have been doing some detective work through my photos and such to remind me.  Here is what I found:

EXPERIENCES since June 2012:

-  Camp Stumpy multiple times this summer.  She made the annual memory stone without Johanna and Nicole.  We sure missed the Murray’s this year. 

-  She bought a new bunny in the Summer whom she named Moonshine.

-  She helped with the roofing project at Paul and Lori’s.

-  We attended a play that a group of home schooler’s put on called “Tumbleweeds”.  Our friends Johanna, Nicole and Sarah were in it.

-  She attended a mud bog at Dickson with some friends and the Canada Day parade in Spruce View.

-  Her bunny Ginger had babies.

-  On Wednesday’s she has been going to Red Deer to be a part of Knighthaven (but yet not be a part of it).  :)  She doesn’t get involved in the sword fighting but she has participated as a princess and a healer.  (You can see her in the background of this picture in her princess garb.)

-  She attended an week long art workshop at Red Deer College in August.

-  She has been doing quite a bit of art since too.  Charcoal drawing seem to be her favorite right now.

-  she had a new litter of piglets born in August

-  and then there was the zombie walk in Red Deer (she is in the red and black dress in the front)

-  the suicide of Amanda Todd seemed to have affected her, she participated on suicide prevention day

-  after Jordan bought his own swords for Knighthaven, they spent quite a bit if time practicing their skills together.  Jordan said she was pretty good.

-  and she finally got her learners licence!!!

-  she was offered the possibility of getting a job in town (a no-no before 16 in our family) if she would get her learners, sell all her pets and a couple of other stipulations.  So she has been working towards that since September. 

-  she was given a raise from the ranch this summer and she finally overcame her fear of driving the large tractors.  She drove the largest one we have and she LOVED it! 

-  she has been training her cousin Christopher to take over the trapping moles job here at the ranch.

-  She has decided she is not a Christian.  She states she believes there is a higher power but doesn’t know what to name it.  She really hates religion (rules, etc).

-  She has a gift for writing poetry and has written numerous poems off the top of her head this year.

-  She likes to communicate through writing and so has been contributing to her blog quite regularly.  Her blog is currently called – The “Fine” Thoughts of a Lost Lonely Heart and can be read here - http://deanna-theworldismycanvas.blogspot.ca/

-  We have been watching and discussing the reality show on TLC called “Breaking Amish”.  http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/breaking-amish

-  She is currently participating in the Christmas season with the Sundre Community Choir.  The concert will be December 8th.

For her “school” time she is using the following resources:

1. GIRLS LIKE US
2. HOW TO BE #1 WITH YOUR BOSS
3. THINKING TOOLBOX
4. KISSES FROM KATIE
5. HOT X ALGEBRA
6. ONCE UPON A LIFETIME
7. TEACHING TEXTBOOKS ALGEBRA 1

These pictures are from the journal she is creating using the “Once Upon a Lifetime” book.